The reason why we feel that more research is needed into the adult decision to separate and the impact that this has upon children is that it is at this critical point that the seeds of conflict between parents are sown. When a couple decides to separate they will already be facing some tough psychological and emotional pressures. At this point, the ways in which each seek support from the outside world has an impact upon them. Currently in the UK, the cultural expectation is that separated mothers will care for their children and fathers will provide. This expectation is reinforced through policy and practice. In other EU countries, this is not the case and the cultural expectation is framed around each parent being able to care and provide. Consequently, there are more stable shared care arrangements, children’s needs are placed at the heart of an ongoing parenting responsibility. It seems so simple and straightforward, but achieving this in the UK is impossible in the current climate where policy and practice divide parents into carer or provider.

We want to see longitudinal research put in place that examines a different way of working with separated families, one that is closer to the EU countries where shared parenting is considered to be the norm. We want to add into that research and understanding of the benefits to children to having parents that co-operate on a long term basis. We want to more fully understand what goes wrong in the UK, what other approaches could bring better outcomes and how policy and practice must change in the UK in order to bring about better outcomes for children.

We believe that until we are able to do this, positive messages about contact with parents will simply be ignored. Too many of the parents we work with already know that their relationship with their children is crucial. Too many are stuck in conflict caused by our divisive policy and practice around separated families to be able to enjoy that ongoing relationship.

We have been campaigning for holistic policy and practice for ten years in the UK. This has met with fierce resistance from many organisations representing either one parent or the other. Strangely enough, the one group that welcomes our work are separated parents themselves, many of whom desperately want to make shared care arrangements work for their children.

In May 2009 we will meet with European colleagues to learn more about their approach to supporting separated families. We will seek to learn more about social policy in action and how different countries support separated families to work together. From there we will publish a report to put to all of the political parties along with a proposal to implement a longitudinal study of holistic interventions in practice. Our aim is to bring about radical change in the way that separated families are supported so that it does become the cultural norm to co-operate and share care. We consider that this is the way that we can bring about better outcomes for children affected by family separation.

Our experience shows us that parents don’t need to be told that children need both of them after separation, they already know that, they just cannot overcome the institutionalised barriers to make those arrangements work.